Dear Sister, My Silence Is Not Judgement…

And I felt it was important that you know this. A few months ago now, I was attending an outing with a group of girls to celebrate my old roommate birthday and I personally felt that she was a bit hesitant talking freely in front of me but nevertheless, she disclosed some information about what was going on in her life. Though I made some brief comments, some that may have seemed taken out of context if not understood, I mainly decided to be quiet. Well, later on in the evening before I headed home and it was just me/her, I told her those words: ” My Silence Is Not (Does Not Mean) Judgement” and I meant that.

Sometimes I think people do think of silence as someone who is judging/looking down on what they are saying but really there is a time to speak and a time to be quiet ( Ecclesiastes 3:7) and sometimes…the person is just choosing to be quiet unless they feel led to speak or they have something to contribute to the discussion. For me, I can be silent because I can not relate to the subject of the discussion, because I am coming to an understanding of the subject and/or because I am just listening. The bible says in James 1:19: “Know this my beloved brothers,let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. “

We all need to learn not to be intimidated, fearful of/by silence. Frankly, I feel that there can be a lot of chattering/babbling happening but that does not mean what we are saying is useful/constructive or  at the right time to speak. Sometimes we talk so much that we fail to listen to what the other person is saying.  Proverbs 18:13: “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame“. Sometimes we are talking so much that we get ourselves in trouble. Proverbs 21:23: Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue will keep himself out of trouble” Sometimes we are talking so much that we miss out on the constructiveness/truths that somebody is saying that just may have given us grace/wisdom had we taken the time to listen ( Proverbs 12:15: “The way of fools seem right to them, but the wise listens to advice”.

So to conclude, it’s okay to be silent sometimes. We do not have to say something after every single thing. Being the one with always something to say is not always the best thing.Besides; we can not talk and listen at the same time ;p. We have to come to understand and to discern that there is a  time to speak and the time to be silent.

Kindest Regards,



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